Building Community is Radical
But the truth is savage and dangerous.
I did not believe boys read books for fun until I started touring college campuses.
Every person in my high school graduating class who went to MIT and an Ivy League school was a woman.
The school’s top debater, mathematician, actor, Latin scholar, and athlete was a woman.
Every person who raised their hand in class was a woman, and our state champions in every sport were women.
If someone was reading aloud their original poetry or performing with the orchestra, they were a woman. The high-schooler who did research on the impacts of microloans on female entrepreneurs in India was a woman (hi, that was me).
Any peer who had anything to say that I thought was worth listening to was a woman.
In my day-to-day life, until I was 18, everyone around me who was brilliant, creative, passionate, determined, and outspoken was a woman.
I existed in an all-girls school environment.
When Clinton lost in my final year of university, I was shattered, devastated, and inconsolable. I had not yet fully come to understand that a woman could be the smartest, most prepared, and most qualified option and still not get the job. How could it be? I shouted and cried for days, unable to understand the outcome.
Eight years later, I’m devastated but no longer shattered and inconsolable.
Back then, the loss was not just in the election results but also in my belief that the Democratic Party was a party of the people and that society saw women as equals. I was always a feminist; I just did not realize until that day how much work still needed to be done in the United States.
I have (and continue to) benefit from plenty of privilege, but growing up and learning in an environment where women were everything is what I am most grateful for and shaped by. On that night in 2016, I had a rude and severe awakening.
Today, I am not shouting and crying, “How could it be?” because I know how it could be. There are several significant reasons why Harris did not win, including the clear message that the Democratic Party has lost touch with the working class. However, it can also be true that misogyny is right up there at the top.
While the economy and immigration may have been voters’ stated top concerns, the fact is that those who voted still chose a convicted felon who boasted about groping women, has 27 sexual assault accusations, routinely demeans women (and many other marginalized groups), appointed Supreme Court judges that overthrew a woman’s right to reproductive healthcare, and has bold plans to diminish our human rights further and target millions of immigrants and refugees.
We see it time and time again in the workplace: mediocre men get positions they do not deserve, are routinely condescending to women, and frequently lack the emotional intelligence required to be good leaders.
It’s worth remembering that only 10.4% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women, and a measly 1.9% of venture capital funding goes to women-founded startups (despite women-owned startups generating higher returns on the VC they do receive compared to their male counterparts). In 2023, more than two-thirds of workers in the U.S. who earned the federal minimum wage or less were women.
On average, women working full-time, year-round, are paid 84% of what men are paid. And, according to the U.S. Department of Labour, a woman must complete at least one additional educational degree to earn as much as a man with less education.
For instance, on average, a woman with an advanced degree earns less than a man with a bachelor’s degree. Were it not for the fact that women attain a greater number of degrees than men, the gender wage gap would be even larger.
As a country, the United States continues to refuse to ratify some major pieces of legislation that aim to strengthen women's rights, such as the Equal Rights Amendment (first proposed in 1923!) and the U.N.'s Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW). Despite this, nearly 30% of women in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by a partner.
Women’s health is underresearched and underfunded because, for starters, throughout history, doctors have considered women’s bodies atypical and men’s bodies the “norm.”
These are just a couple of points from the macro view. From the micro view, women are excluded, contradicted, and invalidated every second of every day—and often, we do it to each other.
The most powerful tool the patriarchy has is pushing us to divide ourselves by class, race, religion, country of origin, etc. But women’s health is underresearched no matter who you pray to. Women make less money than men, regardless of their income bracket. Sexual violence can occur to each and every one of us. When a national abortion ban goes into effect, the implications will not change based on your ballot.
“The right to choose is always the key to progress for women, as it is for men.”
― Misogyny: The World's Oldest Prejudice by Jack Holland
What we are all about to collectively experience is going to be dark. I truly, truly believe that the next four years are going to be incredibly challenging for millions and millions of Americans (including the vast majority of the population that voted for him).
But we have no choice but to keep on fighting. There is no other choice. We must continue to forge more inclusive, equitable, and sustainable paths no matter how dark the times feel. We still deserve a better world.
Building our communities—both our political and social communities—is the most important thing that we can do. We will need each other in ways that we can not fully comprehend, including for friendship, protection, and solidarity. Not only our friends and family but our neighbours, co-workers, members of our giving councils and book clubs, and the local neighbourhood grocery store workers and librarians.
As Audre Lorde said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” In these times, caring for yourself is radical, as is building community and small, daily acts of compassion. And, hope.
Hope is radical.
One thing that has not changed since I was 18 is that everyone around me who is brilliant, creative, passionate, determined, and outspoken is a woman.
“They said, ‘You are a savage and dangerous woman.’ I am speaking the truth. And the truth is savage and dangerous."
- Woman At Point Zero by Nawal El Saadawi
Five Soothing Things to Do Today (before we become savage and dangerous)
- Send a message to every woman you love and care about and tell her exactly that.
- Schedule time this weekend to meet up with a few women for tea, chats, and laughs. We still must find laughter.
- Strike up a conversation with one of your neighbours and start to get to know them.
- Choose one women's and girl’s focused organization to support in whatever way you can. (Tip: cancel your Prime membership and donate that $15 a month to this organization. Jeff Bezos absolutely does not deserve one cent of your hard-earned money.)
- Rest.